love is an illusion

2008-05-05T03:18:00.002+08:00

arrrr... i'm crushing on someone i barely know again.. zzz.. n tts my new good friend.. damn sian.. y do i crush so easily on charming guys? n zim too.. =( juz coz he said he thought i was cute.. n boon! eeeeeeeeeee.. y him sia? cannt imagine..

concluded= cheow fern is veri flirt.

2008-04-29T04:06:00.003+08:00

ahh~ this blog is private once again.. =)) well.. i'm now with a new boyfriend.. yeah.. new one.. i got dumped e previous time.. n he's(current) been like practically non existant.. ha.. well.. i'm a flirt. i do admit to that.. n i'm already looking for a new prospective guy.. hopefully 1 tt i can actually spend e rest of my life with.. yeha.. a husband.. too demanding perhaps? for now, i want a boyfriend tt has a motorbike.. well.. not tt he HAS to have 1.. but it'll definitely be a huge PLUS.. ^^ i wanwanwan.. so romantic lor.. can imagine? my heart has moved.. to some place, someone.. zzz.. i need smth new, smth fresh.. sch's started.. n i'm oh-so dreading it.. sch's at 8 later.. n i'ma like so worried, i'm not intending to sleep already.. sian.. n sleepy.. =(

2007-10-02T21:47:00.000+08:00

its been 3 yrs.. i still cant fuckin get ovr it.. 3 long yrs.. y? can someone tell me? almost every nite, i lay on my pillow, thinkin of things tt could haf been.. but nvr was.. i juz wanna go back 2 those days when he'd buy us happy meals.. n carry me arnd on his shoulders.. :( i don ever wanna cry myself 2 slp again..
~~~
haiz.. ytd was my bqd training.. t'was fun.. e girls were kinda left out.. :( coz onli 2 yellow belt girls turned up.. shu en n me.. sian.. i hope tt we dont haf 2 combine wif thursday's class.. not when i'm gettin used 2 dis alredy.. :(( hah.. as anyone wuda guessed, i've got a whole body ache now.. thou not as bad as e guys coz we were left out of some part of e trainin.. haiz.. but wad made things worse is dis stupid runny nose n sore throat i haf now.. every cough n every sneeze.. urgh.. u noe.. e usual.. my muscles!!! AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!! got mad again at him tdy.. i'm too petty i guess..

i'ma loser
(sry guys, i onli realised it now)

i wan somebody who is willin 2 understand me.. not pity.. counselors r expensive.. i guess..

2007-09-27T00:16:00.000+08:00

didn go out today.. si bei sian.. haiz.. slept till 7.. NO.. not 7am.. 7pm.. lol.. slept for a total of 14 hrs.. *faints* i wan a job i need a job!! i need money.. broke.. :( damn broke.. haiz..
~~~
teach u all 1 new word
*drumroll*

*ahem*

SIAD

its how i feel rite now...

sian+sad

kk.. learn it well use it properly.. ^^
~~~
oh yea.. mooncake festival was yesterday.. went ovr 2 his hse 2 accompany him.. went 2 tiong bahru plaza/mall? to eat mac for lunch.. secondary kids nowadays.. haiyo.. *shakes head* nvm.. skip tt topic.. went his hse play sims2.. complicated.. n gives me a headache frm its 3d.. -____- maybe not used to it ba.. it was his sis's bdae on tt day.. lol.. had a super uber yummilicious creamy choco cake.. wahhaahahahahaha.. BE JEALOUS.. den after tt goin home tt time.. his parents gave me some mooncakes.. heavy.. sobx.. but nvm.. e box veri nice.. ohohohoho.. stood half e way home.. sobx.. i guess i was too lazy 2 grab a seat.. *shrugs* nice nice box!!! lol

2007-09-16T01:55:00.000+08:00

lol.. grading was today.. ovr liao.. i've gotten my yellow belt!! wahahahahahahs!! today was relatively fun la.. go sch play wif cca mates.. disturb here n there.. guess wad? i can finally jump onto e parapet outside e rm lahhs.. cool rite?? XD hahas.. ok la.. after grading i went 2 S-11 wif max n bobo..

my new yellow belt!! ^^

den after tt max n i went off 2 mit his family for dinner at sakae -__- lookie wad we did 2 e ice cream!!

its Bud's green tea ice cream by e way.. ^^

n then we ventured off 2 comics connxn 2 look at stuff.. i ended up buyin

cutie hitsugaya toushiro collar pin! dono wad 2 do wid it thou..

n recognise dis? lol.. its tt dono-who's mark after she has poisoned her opponents by piercing em.. lol.. gonna stick on my hp.. once my old sticker falls off.. ^^

2007-09-12T02:00:00.000+08:00

aha! edited e skin.. finally got one tt's so cool.. lol.. abit messy though.. but nvm.. i like! ohohohoho.. kk.. back juz 2 tell u some food for thought.. well.. maybe other ppl alredy came up wif dis but.. who cares? juz wanna say, if u wanna be a teacher, in e modern world, u haf 2 learn how to influence.. not juz teach.. influencing holds more power den juz plain teaching.. like, lets say, if a teacher loves e subj he/she teaches alot, i'm sure e students will catch onto his/her passion for it, n get influenced into lovin tt subject.. :) geddit? by merely teaching, its like forcing something down someone's throat.. of coz.. there is persuasive teaching, naggy teaching.. they work too.. but to me, i still think influence is better. influence students into wanting to learn more about something.. show them ur passion, teachers/lecturers. :) make us want to noe more, make us hunger for tt knowledge.. in that way, we not onli noe about tt certain thing, but we understand it too...
~~~
in a nutshell, i'll juz like 2 say tt influence overpowers teaching..
~~~
thanks to all teachers who haf influenced me 4 e better thru all these years.. =D

2007-08-12T18:17:00.000+08:00

argh.. i'm at his house now.. blogging.. y? coz i'm bored.. bored of wad u may ask? BORED OF WATCHIN HIM PLAY GAMES!!! E WHOLE FREAKIN TIME I WAS HERE I HAF BEEN WATCHIN HIM PLAY GAMES!!! I MGHT AS WELL STAY AT HOME! argh.. total waste of my time. tell me u wanna spend tie wif me? dis is how u spend time wif sur veri own girlfren?! argh.. ask me come 2 acc u.. end up is come watch u play game.. FUCK LA.. i might as wel slp at home!!! i might as well stead a little kid!! NO DIFFERENCE!!

2007-08-11T00:33:00.000+08:00

OHMAGAWD! i'm feelin so down again.. urgh.. my mom juz got a new fone luhh.. n i'm like thinkin of my dad.. GAWSH.. i'm feelin so veri down.. so down.. those emotions, thoughts, juz got pulled up frm e back of my head.. they struck me like an arrow thru my heart.. its so pain.. so painful u noe? thinkin of those things we haf now, those stuff he can never haf.. he never got hold of a gd camera fone.. that time, when he wanted 2 borrow my brother's fone, he got scolded instead.. now, come 2 think of it, i rather pour out my life savings 2 get him a nice fone. i'll do anythin juz 2 haf him wif me now.. i never felt loved.. u noe.. cuz my family was never close.. daddy quarrellin wif mommy, me quarrellin wif my bro.. tt kind of family love, that most of u ppl enjoy.. i never had it.. not once had i felt it.. sian.. my eyes r so darn red now.. i hope my mom doesnt realise.. so embarrassing.. it hurts me.. but it hurts her more.. losing a husband.. losing a half of her life.. i owe him so much luhh.. debts i can never repay.. haiz.. hey u! yes u! PLEASE TREASURE WAD U HAF NOW.. PLEASE.. TAKE IT TT I'M BEGGIN U.. DIS PAIN IS UNBEARABLE.. I'M ABOUT 2 GO CRAZY SOON.. THESE REGRETS R TEARING E SOUL OUTTA ME!
~~~
time DOES NOT heal all wounds.. therer juz.. somethings tt time can never ever heal..
~~~
daddy.. i miss u so much.. haiz.. guess u will never ever hear these words frm me le..

2007-08-01T02:47:00.000+08:00

maybe i should start actin cute.. n start typing wif tt extra words.. -.- everyone loves act cute girls la.. even my bf liked b4 an act cute girl.. sheesh.. :(
~~~

considerin

considerin

considerin

hmmm...

2007-07-27T23:54:00.000+08:00

o.0 tt was some vulgar post.. lol.. he not playin moosic le!!! he's.. he's.. OUT!! lol

2007-07-25T00:55:00.000+08:00

OMG!! I F*ING CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! MY BRO IS SUCH A F*ING SELF CENTRED IDIOT!!! HE'S BEEN BLASTING MUSIC FRM HIS RM ALL NIGHT!!! I NEED 2 SLP!!! I NEED SOME SERIOUS SLEEP!!! ITS SUPER LOUD.. AND.. AMD.. ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY.. MY MUM SCOLD HE OSO DON CARE!! EH!! NOT HIS HSE LEI.. FUCK!! HE OSO DON PAY ANYTHING HERE!! I NEED EAR MUFFS!!! I WAN MOVE OUT!!! NONO!! I WAN KICK HIM OUT!!! ALL HE DOES IS SLP ALL DAY.. GO OUT PLAY.. GO OUT WORK.. GO OUT CAUSE CAR ACCIDENT.. DON GO SCH.. WASTE MY MOTHER MONEY LOR!!! Y CANT HE B LESS LIKE MY FATHER?!?!

2007-07-23T01:37:00.000+08:00

2007-07-20T22:21:00.000+08:00

i need a hug.. n a shoulder now.. right now.!! my words r not important anyways.. so e nx time i open my mouth 2 speak, slap me n tell me 2 shut up.. haiz.. presentation went well? i guess.. but i couldnt get any response frm my classmates n lecturers.. m i a failure? a goddamn failure? i shud juz quit sch ba.. n go work.. anyway i cant imagine myself graduating out frm nyp wif tt cert in my hands.. haiz.. i did badly 4 e past 2 projects lor.. both C.. n e lecturer still can say they marked leniently.. wad if they had marked strictly den? would i haf gotten a FAIL? haiz..

2007-07-20T00:33:00.000+08:00

u.. u don trust me.. haiz.. wadeva la.. i gif up! i gif up on relationships!! go away!! i shall be single for e rest of my life!

2007-07-19T23:54:00.000+08:00

shit la.. i was doin my proj in sch.. n guess wad? finalcut pro closed on me 3 times!! 3 freakin times while i was rushin out my project.. zzz.. den.. after i haf done all tt properly, i tried 2 put it into after effects! it didn come out e way i wanted it 2 appear.. it juz.. sucked!! today sucked!! everythin sucked!! n now i haf 2 go sch early in e mornin 2 do it properly.. zzz.. well.. i think dis may be my better project so far.. though i spent so little time on it.. haiz.. i haf a secret fetish on evil blue bunnies.. ssssshhh... '.^
~~~
i miss u..

2007-07-18T03:18:00.000+08:00

OMG!!! i detect a major contradiction in dis blog.. haiz.. well.. from today on, i will be happy.. not juz 4 me but oso 4 my frenx.. =) i guess.. bein gemini is complicated.. -.-" now i noe y is twins de.. got 2 personality.. -.-" i'm gonna fess up 2 smth here..
~~~
I LOVE U MY FRENS!! N BF OSO. =) i might not mean much 2 u.. but u all mean e world 2 me. i haf a secret crush on all of u.. XD

2007-07-18T03:09:00.000+08:00

18th july: 1 mth le!!! hahas.. happy 1 mth!! happy monthsary!! happy happy!! happy always!! happy from now on!! happy me!! happy u!! happy us!! my dearest LAOGONG!! lols <33
~~~
i noe la.. i sound immature.. so r my thoughts.. heheh.. thank u 4 remindin me tt i'm young.. i don wanna grow up!!

2007-07-17T01:13:00.000+08:00

u had no rights.. no rights i tell u.. u had 2 judge.. u had 2 assume.. n ure actin like u r so pure.. damn.. how i wish i could prove u right.. but i cant.. i'm sorry.. i hate hypocrits.. n definitely wont listen 2 dem.. u act like u r so "gam" infront of me.. act like i'm ur fren.. but those words tt r said when i wasnt there hurt me.. hurted me so bad.. well.. now i noe who r my real frenz.. n who i can count on.. frenz tt do not judge from their own point of view.. but rather consider ur thoughts n ur feelings.. now den do i realise e meanin of true frenz.. they r not ppl tt u search high n low 4.. but ppl who u chance upon in life.. tt u can count on when ure in trouble..
~~~
btw, i'm gonna go crazy.. e thoughts in my mind are racing arnd.. like some wild animal tt has been agitated real bad.. i cant control these thoughts.. they're eatin into me slowly.. inside out.. my mind, my heart.. is screaming out for some way 4 relief.. now do i finally realise y ppl commit suicide by eatin alot of painkillers.. it is to numb their pain.. physically if not emotionally.. how i wish i can haf some.. right now.. its probably one of e cheapest n cleanest methods of dyin..
~~~
1 day.. u will leave me.. like the others who haf come n gone.. i've lost too many ppl in my life.. n i'll probably not believe tt someone will actually stay by my side.. maybe i shud leave now.. n join my father in hell.. tt will save many ppl's time n energy.. 1 less person 2 waste on.. an focus more on other ppl.. i'm not gd enuf 4 u.. n there'll be lots n lots of better girls out there.. ure a nice guy n they'll fall 4 u de.. reali.. haiz.. i'm juz a useless bitch.. wastin e world's resources onli.. wastim ppl's time n money.. i owe everyone too much.. too much.. may i be born a slave in e nx life.. 2 serve those who haf wasted so much on me..
~~~
go away.. all who r happy.. leave n take ur joy far far away frm me.. hate me so.. hate me much.. hate me for life.. i don deserve anythin in dis world.. sorry mummy..

2007-07-01T22:16:00.000+08:00

yay! today went out wif phy! went plaza sing.. ate at secret recipe.. ex lo.. blew a hole in my wallet.. =( den went shopping for clothing.. found a piece which i think i liked.. frm pmk! heard its limited one.. lol.. den since i didn haf a decent peice of tanktops, i decided 2 buy it.. ex lor.. but nvm.. got discount.. den went flesh imp.. phy bought 2 pieces of clothing den i bought 1.. lol.. tube lei.. too sexy for me.. i don think i will wear bahx.. onli when ppl ask me 2 wear.. den i will wear.. went ip zone oso.. hahas.. almost wanted 2 get a purple piece.. but was stopped by my wallet.. saw dis cute butch.. n helped phy ask for number frm her.. lol 1st time i ask lei.. wah.. i feel so proud of myself.. nx time i got more guts le.. hehe.. den after tt we parted.. i went katong to eat laksa with max.. hahas.. damn full now.. n my tummy burnin.. haiz.. tummy pain.. zzz

2007-06-29T00:26:00.000+08:00

these tears flowing out of my eyes..
do u c them?
do u feel em?
do u noe em?
i don think so..

i feel e heartache of a breakup.. yet i havent lost u.. wads wrong wif me? i don think i even deserve 2 b in a relationship.. slap me, chase me away, n move on.. n go find her bahs.. =)

2007-06-29T00:17:00.000+08:00

i'm feelin so stressed up.. there's noone out there 2 confide in.. i feel like cryin.. but i don dare to.. not at home.. not outside.. haiz.. all these pent up feelings n emotions.. who will ever understand me?

2007-06-28T23:54:00.000+08:00

insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities.. insecurities..
~~~
u wan live wif her ehh? go lo.. i wont stop u.. :) its ur freedom

2007-06-27T17:20:00.001+08:00

i think too much

2007-06-27T02:39:00.000+08:00

omg.. i was bathing juz now.. smth came 2 mind.. wad if it reali happens? wad if my dream happened? i don wan my brother 2 die!! he's my onli brother.. =( i don wanna lose another family member! fuck la.. haiz.. now i feel like a jinx.. ppl leave me.. coz i'm a bad bad girl.. i don deserve anyone in dis world.. even my hamsters oso wanna leave me.. i left wif 1 onli.. haiz.. sian.. maybe ppl will stop leaving me if i left 1st? haiz.. my mind! emotional turmoil.. damn worried now.. haiz haiz.. i think i havin pms.. today so freakin emotional.. i don wan my brother 2 die!! haiz

2007-06-27T00:27:00.000+08:00

2007-06-26T23:16:00.000+08:00

i'm feelin so insecure.. haiz.. i m n always will be.. coz.. i feel tt nobody will actually love me.. nobody.. everyone leaves.. in the end.. y? i hate dis feelin tt i'm gettin.. itx onli adding onto e emoness i'm feelin.. n its not tt i don trust u 100%.. itx juz tt.. i was hurt b4.. maybe not as much as any of u ppl out there.. but i definitely don wanna get hurt again.. i'm sorry.. dis shield is kinda hard to remove.. it hurts.. knowing tt ure not trusted.. i noe n i'm sorry.. i'll try ok? haiz.. to be or not to be.. hurt? i'm juz too scared.. damn i'm a coward.. will e wizard of oz gimme a courageous heart? please? i will kill e evil witch.. =) i wan i wan i wan!!! gimme!!! or i kill u.. haiz.. nuts liao.. dis is wad happens when i don haf enuf slp.. tmrw still got presentation.. haiz.. i oso haven tot of wad 2 do.. i don even understand e topic.. grrr.. anyway, i'm gettin back e feel of doin projects le.. when hols juz ended i felt so foreign in e classroom.. now.. its my home! =)
~~~
when the day comes when u love me no more, tell me. i wont blame u. i will let go, leavin wif u all of my best wishes.
~~~
when i die, would u move on? when i leave, will u miss me? when we're together m i all u think about? will u stick 2 ur promise n love me wif ur all? don tell me u'll love me forever.. coz there is no.. forever.. i don deserve anyone's love..
~~~
i'm wif u.. always..
~~~
my bro is in hosp! omfg.. his gf tell me de.. ex.. i think.. omfg..! omfg!! haiz.. i'm alredy feelin bad enuf.. y does dis haf 2 happen too? haiz..

2007-06-24T22:34:00.000+08:00

he said:
~~~
Thy Fate thy seek, Appears onli when thee day thee moon crimson full.. says:
all i am going to say.. is.. to me u are a beauty.. and tat's tat.. and tat i love u for who u are.. so ya.. arguing with me. wouldn't change wat i tink abt u.. u are my beauty.. Haiz.. and if u still wanna deny tat u are a beauty.. then i got nth to say..
~~~
well.. i'm not gonna comment on dis

2007-06-24T22:24:00.000+08:00

braindead- boreDOOM says:
everyone dies
braindead- boreDOOM says:
in de end
braindead- boreDOOM says:
no point
braindead- boreDOOM says:
stayin on
braindead- boreDOOM says:
hurtin ppl
braindead- boreDOOM says:
gettin hurt
braindead- boreDOOM says:
wastin money
braindead- boreDOOM says:
wastin time
braindead- boreDOOM says:
might as well die
braindead- boreDOOM says:
e faster e better
braindead- boreDOOM says:
coz nx time
braindead- boreDOOM says:
coffin prices r gonna go up
braindead- boreDOOM says:
at least die now can claim insurance
braindead- boreDOOM says:
haiz
braindead- boreDOOM says:
haiz
braindead- boreDOOM says:
haiz
braindead- boreDOOM says:
haiz
braindead- boreDOOM says:
haiz
braindead- boreDOOM says:
haiz
braindead- boreDOOM says:
haiz
braindead- boreDOOM says:
haiz
braindead- boreDOOM says:
die
braindead- boreDOOM says:
i jus feel like runnin now
braindead- boreDOOM says:
run n run n run
braindead- boreDOOM says:
don look back
*james*Fender strat...1962' i got my feel back!!! i can feel it yeah! says:
...
braindead- boreDOOM says:
not stoppin
*james*Fender strat...1962' i got my feel back!!! i can feel it yeah! says:
why so sad today...
braindead- boreDOOM says:
fuck
braindead- boreDOOM says:
i'm emo
~~~
y does the past hurt so? fuck dis life. fuck dis shit. fuck dis emo bitch.

2007-06-23T21:18:00.000+08:00

wanna blog.. dono wad 2 blog.. wanna blog.. dono wad 2 blog.. ack.. braindead! lol.. he came ovr today.. 2 do hw.. ended up not doin.. lol.. hw.. argh.. i better go do le.. haiz.. tata!

2007-06-20T05:00:00.000+08:00

Tombstone Generator

2007-06-20T01:49:00.000+08:00

as i'm typing dis, someone is trying 2 remember my blog link.. lol.. still trying.. had quite a fun bdae.. hmm.. he accompanied me on sunday-tuesday.. lol.. e day in between was my bdae!! so shocked tt so many ppl actually remember my bdae lor.. hahas.. lets see..

-max- <3
-rashid-
-mum-
-polalion-
-serene-
-xinyi- (=
-deren-
-alex-
-rachel-
-chris-
-rayner-
-kwok seng-
-felicia-
-song wei-
-phyphy- (=
-gui qing-
-max's fren. lol-
-zhen wei aka ah boy-
-junhao-
-adrian-
-dennis-
-enrique-
-russell-
-deren-
-shirley-
-weiling-
-anthony-
-sporekid- (super super belated wish)
-kickboxing ppl-
-cathi-

lol.. lurve them lots.. though they made me feel old.. urgh.. did i miss out anyone? heh heh..

my prezzie:

unopened..

kai le!!!

lol.. cute ehhs? xinxin gimme one.. lol.. still got cake.. small one but yummy.. e pic i don haf.. nx time den put up.. hehe..

wanna noe about my bdae? wad happened? wanna noe or not i still will post.. ha! lol.. max accompanied me tt whole day.. yes whole day.. not mornin 2 nite but whole day.. i emphasize.. whole day.. wahhahahaas.. tt qn was brought up again 2 me at midnight.. n i said yes.. yea! so we officially started on 18th june.. which is, my bdae!!! hahahs.. we stayed at pasir ris beach till arnd 1.. or 2? ehh.. dono la.. onli noe kena scolding.. guess wad? my mummy didn remember.. haiz.. of all ppl.. saded.. had 2 remind her.. after tt went dte buy nugget meal.. wuahahahaha.. fatness.. ack.. den went home.. he came along.. den watch cowardly dog till 4 or 5.. den went 2 slp.. SEPARATELY.. DONT ANYHOW THINK.. den woke up at.. a lil past 8? freshened up den go his hse.. slack.. n nap.. den at 4+pm leave for sch for cca.. den at cca, we ran, n ran, n ran, n ran.. did some incline pull ups.. den went up 2 do stretches.. lol.. den after cca go amk s-11 makan.. ban mian!!! den after tt go home.. he came along too.. lol..

THE END

2007-06-11T02:44:00.000+08:00

damn i'm dumb.. eek 37% dumb.. lol

2007-06-10T03:40:00.000+08:00

2007-06-09T20:22:00.000+08:00

bleahx!

2007-06-08T01:20:00.001+08:00

its nice 2 be doted on! :)

2007-06-06T23:28:00.000+08:00

went sch today.. went 2 e shopping arcade there den withdraw $$ 2 return max.. lol.. threatened 2 drop e note if he didn take it back.. den i heard ppl mocking me at e back.. fuck em la.. anyway, i returned e money 2 him successfully!! den after tt went 2 class 2 do hw.. max, wif his maya n me wif my drawing.. was so cold lor.. in e class.. lol..

the end..
=)

alas.. i blog =)

2007-06-05T23:59:00.000+08:00

long time since i touched dis blog.. lol.. mostly touchin dis blog onli 2 talk about my frustrations in life, in sch, in dis fucked up world.. lately, i've been havin bgr problems.. i haf juz broken up wif HIM.. n another HIM is in my life.. he tells me he loves me as who i am.. but.. i juz don deserve dis love.. i'ma bitch.. a flirt.. haiz.. e front tt i put up 2 e world.. juz disappears when i'm wif HIM. is it tt i've found e perfect guy i'm lookin for? or is dis another illusion frm cupid.. damn tt kid.. eargh.. bein in his arms.. jux feels so comfortable.. makes me long for more.. haiz.. he is juz too... nice. a veri gd guy.. who shud me chasing a better girl instead.. n not me.
n lately, my wallet has been givin me problems too.. MONEY.. damn tt word.. damn wad it does 2 our lifes.. no money=no food=starve=cannot concentrate on studies=no gd grades=no gd certs=no gd jobs=no gd family=die lonely.
friends, wad can i say.. they r e best things 2 ever happen 2 me.. but i'm scared of em.. yes.. scared.. in case i offend em. eargh.. *slaps head*
my results in sch? haiz. i don even noe how well or how badly i did.. i don even noe my results.. grrrr.. e suspense.. ITX KILLING ME..

gdbye! i'm off.. emotions.. expressed! :)

i'm 84% teen.. lol

2007-05-20T17:15:00.000+08:00

[x] Held hands with someone
[x] Lost someone
[x] Never got a chance to tell someone
something important
[x] Cried your heart out
[x] Danced

Total: 5

[x] Rejected someone
[x] Heard a rumor about yourself
[x] Hurt someone emotionally
[x] Hurt someone physically

Total: 4

[x] Got involved in a sport
[] Got called a dork
[x] Fell in love
[x] Went to a funeral
[] Know someone who has tried to
commit suicide

Total: 3

[] Wrote a love note
[] Went through a phase
[] Got busted
[x] Know someone really stupid and/or
annoying
[x] Got in a fist fight with a family
member.

Total: 2

[x] Drank
[x] Made a mistake
[x] Thought you found the one
[x] Found out a bf/gf cheated on you
[x] Lied to your parents

Total: 5

[x] Been lied to
[x] Felt like the happiest person in
the world
[x] Felt like dying.
[x] Had a crush

Total: 4

[x] Prayed
[x] Texted in class
[x] Smoked a cigarette
[x] Had more than one crush at a time
[x] Disliked someone

Total: 5

Total in all: 28

Multiply By Three: 84
this is how much of a teenager you are.
Repost this as "I am _% teenager

2007-05-15T20:33:00.000+08:00

kickboxing ytd was so fun i tell u.. laughed e whole session..well.. almost.. now i got a shoulder ache.. n a thigh ache.. how i wish it was my ass tt ached. den i can slim it down.. :)

2007-05-08T03:27:00.000+08:00

blogger doesnt load properly!!!! i think in my com onli luh.. sian... today,i mean yesterday, or juz now, i went kickboxing wif xinyi! for e 1st time! their stretchin were scary man. eesh. but i think i will join. coz i got motivation. learn fast fast den can kick tt person! tt... GGrRRRR... person who keeps callin me chubby.. say u dono my name huh? go check luh. i'm sure u all got a namelist de lor. don try 2 bluff me.. shall kick u in e balls.. teehee.. oh yea.. in e mornin, there was dis girl who vomited her breakfast all over herself.. she was wearin her sch uniform.. poor lil thing.. nobody realised until i gave her e last of my tissues.. one uncle actually gave her a bag.! a huge one at tt..

2007-05-01T23:07:00.000+08:00

ok.. so i'm doin my course now at my poly.. nyp.. itx stressing me out man.. damn. goin back 2 sch every single day n hr tt it is open. i'm alredy doin a project liao.. on ..show ya another time. its most probably an about 1 min vid..

haiz.. stress in class oso.. lotsa "liking" goin on arnd. n to think i was so stupid as to try 2 help. now things have gotten worse.. wad to do except blame myself? argh.. everythin is always my fault. whatever i do goes wrong.

2007-03-13T01:38:00.000+08:00

correction to my previous post..
frenz do not:
- call u names in an effort 2 hurt u -
at least they wont call u a prostitute, a fat n cheap one at that.. n slut, bitch, fatherless kid(knowing tt u r still upset ovr ur dad's death).. say tt u look like a guy, while she is PURE PRETTY N CUTE.. call ur boyfren GAY juz bcoz he has been given MCs by de doctor so he doesnt haf 2 go camp.. he has HEP B.. so bcoz of dis incurable disease, he has been called CHAO GENG n GAY..
frenz do:
- support n encourage one another -
- comfort(at least try to) when they noe u r feelin down -
etc...

2007-03-12T01:25:00.000+08:00

I'm goin to nyp's (motion graphics n broadcast design) course larhs.. I don't even noe wad 2 think of it.. I'm feelin veri confused.. I cant decide wad i want in life. Onli when e appealin date is ovr tt i actually wake up. N realise tt i want to be a surgeon. Too ambitious? Maybe. But i'm willing 2 do whatever it takes. I'm feelin quite bad actually. Y didn i realise tt sooner? i could go to a jc.. haiz.. Nvm. I should do my best in dis course oso..
~~~
recently so many things haf happened.. i'm trippin ovr my own feet tryin 2 walk down dis walk of life. there's noone 2 guide me along. i'm gettin more n more lost in my path. where am i heading to? i'm juz walkin, stumbling thru.dis life feels so empty..wad m i gonna do? sometimes, i juz feel like stoppin halfway, sayin "thats enough". now, onli now do i realise who my real frenz are..
frenz do not:
-call u names-
-boss u arnd-
-hurt u-

i'm physically, emotionally, mentally tired.. gimme a break..

2007-02-16T02:44:00.000+08:00

back 2 blogging.. sry i didn come online 4 so long ppl.. i was workin n was super tired by e time i got home.. so didn wanna come online.. i got my results!!! 9th feb was e fateful day, as u all 2006 o level candidates noe.. i was soo disappointed wif it. darn. had 2 buy black spray 4 my hair.. was parading arnd desperately lookin 4 a black spray in half golden hair. e other students were all staring lor.. embarrassing..
~~~
i got.
A2 for english language
C6 for combined humanities
B3 for mathematics
A2 for science(phy/chem)
B3 for design n technology
B4 for principles of accounts
B4 for chinese
~~~
of all, i think my A2s were super unexpected. i was thinking tt i was gonna get a b4-c6 for english n tt my science cannot make it.. coz i went totally outta point in my essay, i think. bleahx.. n my science, i didn even do it properly. i left alot of blanks, if i'm not mistaken.. but as de old folks always say, EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED. miracles do exist. tt c6 in comb. humans was like totally expected, i slept through all e lessons larhs.. lols. sry 'cher.. n i wanna cry abt my dnt.. i had too high hopes 4 tt one subj.. n i didn do well.. hais. anyway, wads done is done..
~~~
all in all, i wanna thank all my teachers,
Mrs Wee(form teacher + math teacher)
Mr Vincent Lee(design n technology)
Mr Lee Chin Teck(sci physics)
Mdm Shariza aka Mdm Riza(sci chemistry)
Mrs Cheong (social studies) *sry 'cher!!!!*
Miss Lee (elect geog) *sry sry!!*
Mrs Esther Wong (english) *i still owe u alota homework.. hehe*
Miss Zubaidah(poa)
Mr Teo (PE)
Mr Fong(chinese teacher)
~~~
to think tt dis phase of life has juz ended 4 me, i'm quite saddened.. but then, dis spells a new life, a new beginning! i'm all excited abt it, butterflies in my stomach. but i'm not quite ready yet. argh. enough wif e romantics. gtg.. bye!!

2007-02-08T15:01:00.000+08:00

i lost my hp!! in e micron toilet. diediedie!!!
~~~
sobx

2007-01-28T22:20:00.000+08:00

wahs.. today work so freakin tiring!! here ache there ache n all because i was onli doin labelling e whole day.. n guess wad? i put on 1 kg!! how can?! i shall reduce my meals to 1 meal a day man.. den save alota $$..
~~~
easy work doesnt necessarily mean easy time
~~~
spent:
2 x 60cents on kway tiao
30cents on milo
total:$1.50
~~~
ez link no $$ le.. *panics*
~~~
SUPER SUAY larh!! dis mth reali put a huge hole in my pocket.. i gotta buy salonpas oso. seems like work is not as cheap as it seems.
~~~
byebye.. my $$!! :'(

2007-01-27T17:11:00.000+08:00

ytd went 2 take pay le.. baush n lomb de. went there tt time hor, was so worried tt i wont get it lor. coz i onli work 1 day. den i don c my name on e list. felt so relieved.
~~~
now i'm richer by 25 bucks. =D actually not now la.. tuesday den i will get tt money. haiz
~~~
i wanna..
.eat sushi.
.get new clothes.
.get a nose job.
.go 4 liposuction.
.get a boob job.
.grow taller.
.get a new hp 4 mummy n myself.
.save up to $2000 by end of dis yr.
~~~
i juz wanna b pretty
~~~
*slpin too much n reading on e bus will gif u a headache* =p
~~~
byee!!

2007-01-25T23:52:00.000+08:00

*families r better off together coz de past, whether gd or bad will bcome memories.*
~~~
nvr take pay in e end. coz abit late liao larhs. lols. met amandis n peter at tanah merah. was actually quite pissed off at e ez link system coz we had 2 pay adult price. my face was so black by e time i met em lor. hahas. e least e sbs can do is cut off our cards onli after we got our results lor. its not as if we r tt rich 2 afford e adult fares. we had 2 go 2 eunos there 2 mit alvin coz he left his stuff wif peter. budden we nvr tap out of e station so we actually saved quite abit. =D we went 2 eat at kfc after tt. so freakin full! den i bought bubble tea. n they gimme mini pearls w/o askin me. sucked. threw e whole cup w/o drinkin. argh. waste of money. its on my bubble tea black list le. shall not tell u where. don wan ruin its reputation. wan noe den msg me. XP went SAFRA after tt. peter wanted 2 play com. n i realised tt lan gaming is REALI NOT GD. e ppl there r either SUPER fat or SUPER skinny or juz plain WEIRD. lols.
~~~
pissed off at my mum.
~~~
goodbye.

2007-01-25T15:06:00.000+08:00

yesterday was reali boring.. was doin labelling e whole day. but luckily 4 me, e visual ppl were reali nice n even gave me sweets! YUM =D oh yea.. i was late 4 e 1st time 2 mit amandis n de rest. n caused em 2 be late as a result. sry guys. hehes.. our break frm now on is gonna b cut to 1 hr 4 e whole day larhs. hais. but nvm. less break means eat less. eat less means lose weight. =D i got 2 sit down during labelling at e end of e day as e boss had gone back n as i was super tired. almost fell asleep while labelling lors. lucky they nvr put me in cleaning ar.
*milk sweet is nice. in fact, all things wif milk is nice.=D*
~~~
yesterday spent:
60cents on kway tiao
3 x 30cents on drinks
total: $1.50
~~~
i'm gonna take my bausch n lomb pay le.. BYEBYE!!!

2007-01-23T23:05:00.000+08:00

today.. hmm.. woke up at 5.15am.. 45 mins ltr den yesterday larh.. lols. but was still de earliest 2 reach at e safra bus stop. waited for 20 mins for em larhx.. wah. missed 2 buses 2 micron. but was still early nonetheless. n when we workin cannot use mp3 larh. sian.. didn noe lor. den trainer say me, supervisor say me n e trainer still go complain 2 my other team mates. a perfect example 2 e phrase "makin a mountain out of a molehill" argh. n most of wad i did today was 2 clean e gold edge of e PCAs. headache lor. n labelling. labelling was much easier. coz when i was doin e cleanin, i got a backache due 2 sitting down too long in a horrible posture coz i had 2 bend down 2 look into e microscope. haf 2 focus wif a microscope. muz adjust here n there. troublesome. but it was still a great day larh. coz e pay is gd. if e pay was lesser i think i wont stay on le lo. went work feelin so tired, went home hyper.=D
down wif microscopes!!
FBGA is e squarer one compared 2 e MLF
its tirin 2 b doin nth
~~~
adult fare sux.
~~~
buaiXx!!!!! (twit style) lols

2007-01-20T01:29:00.000+08:00

ok.. back 2 blogging after a looooonnnngggg tiiimmmeee... dis is e 2nd time i'm typin dis. n i'm fuckin pissed abt dis com. yes. i don mind using tt word coz i m reali FUCKIN PISSED OFF. scold me all u wan abt me using tt word. i don care.
~~~
my 1st 2 days of work at micron is over liao. 1st day was orientation. some sort of "lecture" e whole day. suuupppeeerrr booorriinng. but nvm larh. we get paid 4 sitting down n doin nth. wahaha.. we learnt tt esd is quite harmful 2 e electronics industry n can cost millions of dollars of damage.
*ESD is ElectroStatic Discharge*
cool rite? bcoz they r worried we might be bringing in static, we'll haf 2 wear ESD shoes n a smock. kinda cool but we look real stupid. e whole of e 1st day, we got lots of little toilet breaks n a whole hr of lunch leis! woohoo.. e food there is like SUPER cheap. 1 plate of kway tiao is like 60 cents onli larh. wowee..i think if got count hor, is almost 2 hr break lerh. but they count onli 1 hr. hahas. gdgd. after e long "lecture" we got split into grps of 7. amandis super steady one lor. actually we all different grp de. end up she convinced ppl 2 change grps, den end up 4 of us, amandis, amir, peter n me in same grp. hahas. gd hor? wif another 3 guys. which means onli got 2 girls in e grp. after tt we got a tour of e building. so cool! we saw "white rangers". lol.
~~~
nxt day, night shift. amandis they all reach earlier den me. n i onli reached at 6.30pm. though we reach so early, we didn noe where 2 go n ended up bein a lil late. hahas. 2nd day there was onli trainin, which lasted 4 almost e whole day. frm 7-8 was trainin, 8-8.30 was break. 8.30- 11 trainin, 11-11.30 was break. 11.30-3.15 was trainin, n 3.15- 4 was break again! waha. after 4 den we got 2 do some hands on. :D n we started 2 go crazy like at 1am lidat. lols. laugh like a couple of maniacs. after e 2nd day, our grp got closer, like a family? hahas. n 4 of us bcame visual "girls"(inspect PCAs one). they r called girls coz most of e workers r.. yeap. rite. girls. so 2 of our guys had 2 b girls 4 work. n amir was complainin e whole way larhs. lols. n e ppl who do labeling was like, fast!? couldnt catch up. but we oso got quite little stuff 2 do. but dono y peter n amandis de line still got so much more laballing 2 do. after work, all of us, except e leader(who drives), went 2 e bus stop 2 take bus together. n guess wad, 3 of e ppl in e grp live in pasir ris, another 3 in tampines n e leader in bedok. :]
~~~
so far i earn more den 100 liao.. but most of it went 2 my transport.haiz. adult fare le.
~~~
gtg.
~~~
tata! food glorious food!!

2007-01-02T02:20:00.000+08:00

HAPPIE 2ND DAY OF DIS YR!!!! lols

2006-12-28T23:31:00.000+08:00

at mcdonalds

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2006-12-28T21:01:00.000+08:00

old changi hospital. nice hor?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

on e way there

graffiti.. spoiling e building. grrr

taken frm 2nd floor

outside och.. quite a nice view. =)

oh no.. i juz trespassed.. how?

2006-12-27T02:29:00.000+08:00

X'mas fotos =)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2 hats down

1 hat down n laughin like crazy

2 hats up

i'm lookin taller.. hahas..

lao ah ma

spot e diff btw e top foto n bottom foto.. lols

2006-12-20T02:26:00.000+08:00

a story in tribute 2 e stupid rain..
~~~
It was a cold night out. The wind howled through my windows. There was no one home but me. I felt a cold shiver down my back and quickly shook that feeling off. While the rain pattered against the window. It seems to be dwindling. The noise of it grew softer, while the unearthly silence grew louder. I hear soft footsteps behind me. But no one was seen. Strange, it sounds like it was just behind me and seemed 2 be getting closer.

Suddenly, the sound stopped.

The silence then started up again. I saw something from the corner of my eye. It was a blurry figure of a person. I froze and didn't dare to turn my head, hoping that whatever that seemed to be watching me will go away. Just then, the silence stopped. Cats were singing their famous midnight chorus. They are either preparing to fight or mate. Whatever it was, i could not stand that sound. I turned on the radio. That "person" who was watching me had left, much to my relief. I leaned back on my chair.
At that moment, an emotion of no cause, no rhyme or reason struck me. Iike an arrow through my heart. I started crying. Continuously for a long time. I did not know exactly how long. It was an emotion of loneliness, frusratedness, sadness and many other terrible feelings mixed together. I felt that i could cry forever.

That emotion went away suddenly. Like how it came. Just like that. It was weird.

I looked in the mirror, my face was tear streaked. A terrible sight if you ask me. A key was heard trying 2 open the door. It should be my mum coming home. I rushed to the sink to clear all evidence of my tears. The door was thrown open, according to what i heard. I walked out of the toilet to welcome her back home. But there was no one... The door was just ajar.

Not a soul in sight......

2006-12-20T01:43:00.000+08:00

i think i siao le.. i suddenly haf craving 4 ice cream.. lols!! someone buy 4 me lei. pls?
~~~
ice cream
ice cream
ice cream
ice cream
ice cream
ice cream
ice cream
ice cream
ice cream
ice cream
ice cream
ice cream

2006-12-20T01:22:00.000+08:00

ooh maan.. now is alredy 1:24 am on my com.. came back for abt 3.5 hrs le. hahas.. rain non stop todae lor. grrr.. n i was wearin white. lucky i got my jacket n umbrella. e main reason i went out todae is not 2 play. but quit some nti thing. lols. quit successfully. i alredy no money lor. den i join dis thing nid 2 pay de. urgh. i went tog wid ming yue, juan n chuan. juan was veri nervous. lols.
~~~
a summary of wad i did todae:
- leave my hse. lols ~duh~
- pierce nose( cost me half of e $$ i had wif me *$5 onli* )
- go raffles there quit nti
- go hougang mall
- buy chicken wing
- buy gel 4 mummy ( i veri filial rite? i noe.. lols )
- buy small coke lite ( which caused me 2 b in debt 2 ming yue again )
de manager told us cannot buy lor. but we sell small cokes so long liao. can de lor. den end up e crew sell 2 us. he was like so pai seh la. lols. i think he's new. hahas.
- finally, home!!!
hahas
**the end**

2006-12-18T02:47:00.000+08:00

woowoo!! nth 2 blog.. actually is not nth 2 blog. is lazy 2 type. hahas. aah.. watchin some food show.. i feel like eatin. kor, return my $$ lei. i wan eat sushi. lols.
i wan slp le.

byebye.

2006-12-18T00:51:00.000+08:00

man.. always cry when i c dis video.. so touching.. tt guy gave up his eyes, his career 4 tt girl.. so wei da..

2006-12-14T02:11:00.000+08:00

i've fallen 4 someone yet again. i like him. but it seems tt he likes my fren. dis always happen lor. my fren is always tt much prettier n cuter den me. everyone likes her. i'm shadowed by her veri presence. she got a higher payin job bcoz she is pretty. anyone can sponsor me 4 an appointment wif de plastic surgeon? or 4 skin bleaching? n don tell me tt i'm special. if anyone can find anythin special abt me other den my name, tell me.
even god prefers her. how unfair. i don even think god likes me lor. let alone love me. e onli person who may actually love me is my mum. but she is bo bian one. she couldn choose wad kind of daughter she wan. she's probably fed up wif me alredy.
hais.. y cant i find someone who i like n actually likes me back?

all i wan 4 christmas is..

a lil more love..

is tt too much 2 ask 4?

i'm a godforsaken child.

2006-12-14T01:11:00.000+08:00

i wish he is mine

2006-12-13T00:43:00.000+08:00

wah.. sian.. today go sell ice cream. climb 5 blocks le still nobody buy. sobx. waste effort n transport money lor. haiz.
tired

don wan type le

byebye

2006-12-11T01:42:00.000+08:00

woohoo!! 1st day at bausch n lomb.. not as scary as i thought. but e whole time nobody buy e lenses. sian. but nvm. e colleague i workin wif veri interesting 2 talk 2. hahas. so not so bad. i had 2 rush 2 science centre 4 a function after tt. to work. mr nathan was there. lols. den e whole day quite tiring. me n ming yue got compliment 4 e work. apparently we were hardworkin. but we don think so lor. but nvm. we don mind. coz dis means we get put in e priority list 4 work. which means, more work!! more $$.. hahas.. when we all go home hor, our legs like machiam gonna break anytime. grr.. but nvm lor. gd money. anyway, i reali nid 2 find another job. 2 fill up my quite empty work schedule. coz sakae hrs veri little. den function n bausch n lomb not everyday haf de lor. anyone got job lobang? i wan frm mornin to afternoon arnd 4 de.

2006-12-09T22:33:00.000+08:00

yoyOo.. tmrw i doin my bausch n lomb job le. hope i wont be late. muz go there early early slowly find de place. den after de bausch n lomb thing i haf 2 chiong 2 science centre 4 another job. haf 2 stand 4 more den 12 hrs tmrw. wish me gd luck. btw, i now got 4 jobs le.. woowoo!! n 2 more i to go. both is fren intro de. den i dono i still wan stay at sakae or not.. coz their workin hrs veri little. den veri senang oso. i wan a job where i can run arnd or can keep me busy until i end work. i don like havin nth 2 do. i think i'm goin crazy frm all these jobs. i reali wan make use of these mths properly. i wan earn as much as possible. den my mommy wont nag abt havin 2 pay 4 everythin by herself. i can gif her some money every mth. but 1st of all, i haf 2 pay my bill. wahaha. i don wan my line 2 get terminated. n i definitely don wan lawyer letter. once e 2 yr ends, i'm changin either 2 starhub or prepaid card. m1 n singtel too ex liao.. after payin my bill, i wan buy hp 4 me n mommy. n buy parang 2 hack my bro. jkin ar. lols. he haven pay me my money!! he onli care abt his bike. den get into so many accidents. kena so many demerit pts n fine. aiyoyOo. oh ya. i oso wan earn money 4 a bike. i wan ride motorbike. i don like cars. don say i crazy. i haf phobia of small spaces. or maybe i find a bf who haf motorbike. den save my money. woohoo!!
i go slp liao.. tmrw haf 2 wake up early 2 go suntec. hope i don lose my way. i think i go find a map of singapore 1st. den go slp..
tatas!!

2006-12-07T17:24:00.000+08:00

woowoo!! dis sunday i'm goin 2 suntec 4 de bausch n lomb thing.. eh.. how 2 go there ar? sian. i dono how 2 go there lei. how? but nvm. i will find my way there. i hope dis job wont be scary. e ppl there all workin adults lei. grrr.. now i got 3 jobs le. but i still got so much time 2 be bored.. anybody wan jio me go out shopping? lols. jkjk..

2006-12-05T00:22:00.000+08:00

wow.. juz came home frm my 1st day at sakae. nth 2 do de! lols.. de uniform quite cute though.. de ppl there were reali nice. except 4 some. i dono how 2 take order n i don dare 2 sout out de greeting. haiz. i nid somemore courage. actually today i supposed 2 go there at 530 de. den we went early.(me n ming yue). den ended up punchin card at tt time. den i realise i cannot work everyday lor. not i cannot. schedule nvr put. aiya. but nvm. i can go find another job. den work 2 at e same time. :) i hope i can learn how 2 take order soon. den i wont feel so helpless liao. anyway, i go slp liao.
byebye!

2006-12-02T02:20:00.000+08:00

wow.. as dis booring day goes past, thoughts of how 2 earn more money starts surfacing in my mind. i reali feel like workin 2 earn money every hr tt i'm awake. i wish tt i can find a receptionist job or smth lidat den de nxt half of de day go work at sakae. but den hor, tt means tt i haf 2 cpf income. den ppl will check out why will lidat. hais. i wan a midnight job. coz i don wan stay at home, hearing my mother nag n nag. grrr... dis few mths will probably be e onli mths of my life when i can reali chiong work n play hard. w/o worrying about expenses at home. i hope e girl at bausch n lomb will call soon. btw, i tmrw haf 2 work somewhere at woodlands. not sure wad i will b doin though. is my fren call me along de. n i think tt i'm addicted 2 hexic. argh. nvm. i m so bored. how i wish tt last time e "mac gang" can mit up n slack like old times. i miss em.
~~~
our "gang":
-amandis
-peter
-ming yue
-cindy
-sandy
-francis
-rowell
-jie han
-hwei juan
-ya shi
-kason
-alvin(crew leader)
and so on n so forth..
i reali hope 1 day we all mit up n tell each other grandfather stories. under a void deck or in mangosteen/ pineapple playground juz like old times..

2006-11-30T19:51:00.000+08:00

i think now i find until too many jobs liao. sakae called juz now 2 ask whether i still wan e job den i was like dono lor. coz i got e coffee club thing. but i think tt coffee club de i don wan liao. den juz now i went back 2 kelly services. coz amandis tell me tt lina got some job 4 her. den i went down tt time, lina not there den i ended up filling up another form. they will help me find data entry jobs n receptionist job lor. but i dono lei, coz i got e sakae thing. after tt, i went 2 mit kelvin 2 go lorong chuan 4 de bausch n lomb thing. we couldnt find de place n ended up taking a cab there. hahas. de interviewer so pretty*envy envy*. there de pay is basic, 5 per hr. still plus commission. theirs is roadshow de lor. veri gd lei. actually almost didn go coz no1 acc me. lucky i go.
~~~
gd things come 2 ppl who r patient

2006-11-29T10:46:00.001+08:00

eee... my jellyfish old version.. den i cannot feed my lampost. grrr.. is either my com got prob or my connection got prob. argh..

2006-11-29T01:07:00.000+08:00

wow.. juz came home not long ago. spent nearly a whole day at raffles. hahas. seems like stepping out of my comfort zone is like e best advice ever. ytd i saw dis ad in newspaper. calling for vision care advisors. they didn put a number 2 call. instead they put an email add. n at 1st i was like "wad if they didn even bother 2 read my email?" but den.. y not? if i don try i might miss out on a great job. n i went n sent e email. e person replied n told me 2 go down for interview. den today i at 1st mit kelvin go raffles. was late again(as always). hahas. i met him on de train. actually i tot he took e previous one. but we were on e same one lar. den he walk past me he oso dono. den i call out his name. VERI PAI SEH LEI. everyone turned to stare. they muz think tt i'm some uncouth girl. den we went to e fullerton for interview. e interviewer was veri nice.(but abit luo suo) hahas. halfway through i sian diao. after e interview, we went lookin 4 food(my idea) but instead we saw coffee club n went in 2 ask 4 job. we having a trial on nx monday. stress stress. interviewer veri strict lei. scary. but he was a fun guy. after tt, kelvin help 2 ask ppl where e mac is. den after a loong while, we found it. den, hwei juan arrived at raffles. i had 2 walk aallll de way back 2 mit her. den bring her 2 mac. eat liao, kelvin go home(i think) den juan bring me 2 some building 2 intro me 2 some "entrepreneur" thing. i dono how 2 describe exactly. den i sign up liao den went 4 dinner wif her n some other ppl. den i oso went 4 their meeting. took quite a long time lei. but i kinda respect e guy making e speech. den i didn noe tt got other ppl oso die same way as my father lei. both died near an altar, dying due 2 a fall, resulting to a blow to head. but e onli diff, my father died b4 my veri eyes. while my whole family was arnd. we were all stumped n didn noe wad 2 do. haiz.. k la. i end here..
buaiz!!

2006-11-27T23:23:00.000+08:00

*SO BORING!!!!!!!* i swear. lucky tmrw i goin out wif hwei juan ar. if not u c headline news, " girl commits suicide due to extreme boredom."

2006-11-27T23:14:00.000+08:00

2006-11-26T22:25:00.000+08:00

woohoo!! ytd was super fun!! i had 2 wake up early 2 mit sherylyn(in which i was late again) hahas. den we went 2 her cell grp. can c tt they reali loved god. after tt we all went 4 some games at east coast park. veri fun. we were playin against some other cells oso. all od em were fun ppl. lemme explain one of e games. we all had 2 line up in e water wif e water knee deep n pass a watermelon(super heavy) under water. after 3 rounds we had 2 run upshore, break it n finish it. yuk. warm watermelon. hated it. den got other games la. but i lazy 2 explain.hehe. it was rainin when we were playin e gmes. fun! :) after e games, i had 2 rush off 2 my church for some gemmy awards thing wif my cell. it was a formal event. so i couldnt possibly turn up in t shirt n shorts. so i brought along a dress to change into. we oso had lots of laughter there.. after e whole thing, we went up 2 e 7th floor 4 our dinner. quite nice lar. but i didn like e rice. veri dry. so ya. den we went down again 2 clear up e auditorium. den i went home. andrea was reali pretty! when i got home, it was abt 11 liao.. waha. got a bit of nagging. =p lols. i loved ytd!!

2006-11-25T02:45:00.000+08:00

A great story tt i tot everyone should read
~~~
This is great, take a moment to read it, it will make your day!

The ending will surprise you.

Take my Son

A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare
works of art. They had everything in their
collection, from Picasso to Raphael. They would
often sit together and admire the great works of
art.

When the
Vietnam
conflict broke out, the son went to war. He was
very courageous and died in battle while rescuing
another soldier. The father was notified and grieved
deeply for his only son.

About a month later, just before Christmas, there
was a knock at the door A young man stood at the
door with a large package in his hands.

He said, "Sir, you don't know me, but I am the
soldier for whom your son gave his life. He saved
many lives that day, and he was carrying me to
safety when a bullet struck him in the heart and he
died instantly. He often talked about you, andyour
love for art." The young man held out this package.
"I know this isn't much. I'm not really a great
artist, but I think your son would have wanted you
to have this."

The father opened the package. It was a portrait of
his son, painted by the young man. He stared in awe
at the way the soldier had captured the personality
of his son in the painting. The father was so drawn
to the eyes that his own eyes welled up with tears.
He thanked the young man and offered to pay him for
the picture. "Oh, no sir, I could never repay what
your son did for me. It's a gift."

The father hung the portrait over his mantle. Every
time visitors came to his home he took them to see
the portrait of his son before he showed the many of
the other great works he had collected.

The man died a few months later. There was to be a
great auction of his paintings Many influential
people gathered, excited over seeing the great
paintings and having an opportunity to purchaseone
for their collection.

On the platform sat the painting of the son. The
auctioneer pounded his gavel. "We will start the
bidding with this picture of the son. Who will bid
for this picture?"

There was silence.

Then a voice in the back of the roomshouted, "We
want to see the famous paintings. Skip this one"

But the auctioneer persisted. "Will some body bid for
this painting. Who will start the bidding? $100,
$200?"

Another voice angrily.. "We didn't come to seethis
painting We came to see the Van Goghs, the
Rembrandts. Get on with the real bids!"

But still the auctioneer continued. "The son! The
son! Who'll take the son?"

Finally, a voice came from the very back of the
room. It was the longtime gardener of the man and
his son. "I'll give $10 for the painting." Being a
poor man, it was all he could afford.

"We have $10, who will bid $20?"

"Give it to him for $10. Let's see the masters."

"$10 is the bid, won't someone bid $20?"

The crowd was becoming angry. They didn't want the
picture of the son.

They wanted the more worthy investments fortheir
collections.

The auctioneer pounded the gavel. "Going once,
twice, SOLD for $10!"

A man sitting on the second row shouted, "Now let's
get on with the collection!"

The auctioneer laid down his gavel. "I'm sorry, the
auction is over."

"What about the paintings?"

"I am sorry. When I was called to conduct this
auction, I was told of a secret stipulation in the
will. I was not allowed to reveal that stipulation
until this time. Only the painting of the son would
be auctioned. Whoever bought that painting would
inherit the entire estate, including the paintings.

The man who took the son gets everything!"

God gave His son 2,000 years ago to die on the
cross. Much like the auctioneer, His message today
is: "The son, the son, who'll take the son?"

Because, you see, whoever takes the Son gets
everything.

FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN
SON, WHO SO EVER BELIEVETH, SHALL HAVE ETERNAL
LIFE...THAT'S LOVE

Please send this to ten people and back to the one
who sent it to you.

Do whatever you like, but remember that maybe "one"
of the people you might have taken the time to send
this to, may be just the person who needs to hear
this message. You have a choice to make."

God Bless

2006-11-25T00:56:00.000+08:00

wahs. someone is givin out my number in irc la. f**k him/her la. hais. i noe change may not be 4 e better but i can at least hope. todae oso got nth 2 blog abt. nth happen other den tt person givin out my number. lucky is onli 2 ppl actually call. they seem quite nice though. but i dono wad tt f**ker has been sayin abt me la. n i cant even think of who tt person is. i onli noe tt he claims 2 be called peter. eesh. i shall hate tt person till i step into my grave. but most likely i will 4get abt tt matter b4 i even get old. grrr. i'm so furious.

2006-11-24T05:19:00.001+08:00

note 2 self: learn 2 let go n live. change is always for de better.

2006-11-24T04:24:00.000+08:00

I WAN A JOB. I NID A JOB. hopefully i can get de m1 job + shop n save job. i intending 2 work 1 day job n 1 night job. its 2 pass time de. hais. after finishing my papers i like so aimless. n kelly services haven call! they say they will call de lor. bluff me. *sobx* please?? can de jobs call me? pretty please?? pretty please wif added sugar?? grrr... if they don call soon, i'll haf 2 go bedok ask 4 job. i reali nid a job now. i owe m1 money. nobody called amandis oso. at least ming yue got de mcCafe job. does anyone realise tt mcCafe girls not bad lookin? de employers go 4 looks de lor. but bo bian. dey bring in customers mahs. if me i oso choose de store tt got better lookin ppl. coz not so gd lookin de c liao veri gao wei. i had tt experience in 1 mcdonalds once. not gonna say which store. arrr!!! i miss sch. can i juz go back 4 fun? ^-^ mebe go c my ex cca. i feel like i left part of my heart behind. those memories created there will not be forgotten. btw, anyone noe of a way 2 lose 5 kg within a wk? NO EXERCISE. coz i lazy. hehes. mr brain is full of "jobs". i think i will cry if no jobs call by sunday. waste my transport money! now my ez link bo lui liao. anybody willing 2 top up 4 me? lols. worse comes to worse, i go back mcdonald work. n get my $3.56/hr pay lo. ming ku ar. de aunties over there so poor thing. they haf to work so hard for a meagre salary. but some of em is not work 2 earn money. its bcoz they nth 2 do at home since their children all grow up liao. lols. so gd hor? i think dis post i will make as long as possible. wonder wads e word limit. hopefully don haf. den can type until my fingers break. oh ya. amandis say wei lun sick. so.. GET WELL SOON. DON MAKE AMANDIS C U SICK DEN HEART PAIN. hais. they r de most lovin couple i haf seen. almost 2 yr liao. my bro n his gf oso quite long le. more den 3 yrs. but always quarrel. but at least btwn dem got smth called love. hao xian mu wor. so far all de relationships i've gone through were flops. i wonder when can i find a guy who likes me alot. coz currently i'm feelin e pang of loneliness. smth is missing in my life. n i realise smth. i'm havin a crush on a guy i hardly even noe. mebe cos he veri friendly. quite cute too. i'm not sayin who. hais. i dono y but i always attract e wrong guys. there were onli 2 right guys in my life. but i lost dem due 2 my insecurities. i was always not sure whether they like me or not. de most current one was so sucky. his friends always tell me tt he will act like i don exist in front of em. yet they will say he cares abt me. de break up was initiated by me. and u noe y? coz i cant stand how he treats me. i was non-existent in his eyes. n his friends will come 2 me n tell me tt he feels like breakin up. he doesnt even bother 2 ask me out. onli tt few rare times. when i sent tt break up msg, my heart was ripped apart. tt nite i cried myself 2 slp. not juz tt nite actually. until now. he's e onli one tt i've ever cried so much 4.. n i don even noe y. his frenz warn me abt him liao lor. but i so stubborn. i knew wad was gonna happen yet i plunged into dis relationship. we had so much in common. he was veri smart. which was a main pt i will consider in a guy. i think its bcos of my sign, gemini. but i'm not a pure gemini though. i'm a cusp between gemini n cancer. tt explains y i like intelligent ppl n yet i like 2 dwell on de past. if i was a pure gemini, i would haf juz shrugged dis bad experience. but dis kind of things hit me like a slap across my cheek. a veri hard one. smth i will not forget. now i hope i can jus find a good guy. i don ask 4 much in a guy lor. jus not too ugly, smart n taller den me can liao lor. oh ya. muz treat me nice oso. actually, i like ppl veri easily. all tt person needs 2 do is be nice n friendly 2 me can liao. actually, i would like 2 be kagome in inuyasha. she's so pretty. which i'm not. y m i born lidat? y cant i be like any other pretty n well liked girls on e street? all my friends r like gd lookin, amandis is super cute, ming yue is veri pretty, amalina is super pretty(gd figure oso),my ex fren rachel is not bad lookin, felicia is pretty, tiffany is pretty, n blaah blaah blaah.... all i wan in dis world is love.i wish someone can actually spend time wid me, understand n stay by my side when i'm sick. all i get now is an empty house i face everyday, a brother who doesnt even care tt i exist n a mother who is always at work. i haf no one 2 turn 2 when i'm unhappy u noe? maybe i can talk 2 god. but he nv answers. de onli living things tt might die w/o me is probably my hamsters. but then, my mum will take care of em when i'm gone wad. sometimes i feel like running. keep on running, nvr stop, nvr look back. how i wish i can do tt. but my stamina veri lousy. i think i should stop typing le larh. i noe tt nobody will read anyway.

buaiz!

2006-11-23T17:12:00.000+08:00

i makin a handbag!! frm scratch. i dono how to do sia. took a veri long time. haven finish yet. but i don think i will use la. i juz make 4 fun. kill time onli. grrr.
~~~
its another boring day. wake up at 3+. pig rite? yes i noe. but last nite(or should i say morning) i slp at 7. i was doin e bag thing mahs. actually wan finish den slp de. but i tired den go slp lo. now i onli left abit. i wake up liao den nth 2 do liao. other den go bathe, eat n computer. tv got not much nice shows. onli at 11. my anime. wahahaha. k la. i go make finish my bag liaoz.
-tata-

2006-11-22T19:05:00.000+08:00

Level 1
(x) smoked a cigarette
( ) smoked a cigar
( ) done weed
(x) kissed a member of the same sex
(x) drank alcohol
total: 3

Level 2
(x) been in love
(x) been dumped
(x) shoplifted
( ) been fired
( ) been in a fist fight
total: 3

Level 3
(x) snuck out of a parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested
( ) made out with a stranger
( ) gone out on a blind date
total: 2

Level 4
(x) had a crush on an older person
(x) skipped school
( ) slept with a co-worker
(x) seen someone/something die
total: 3

Level 5
( ) had/have a crush on one of yourFRIENDSTERfriends
( ) been to Paris
( ) been to Spain
( ) been on a plane
( ) thrown out for drinking
total: 0

Level 6
(x) eaten & love Sushi
( ) been snowboarding
( ) met someone BECAUSE of friendster
( ) been mosh pitting
total: 2

Level 7
( ) been in an abusive relationship
( ) taken pain killers
( ) love/like someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
( )made a snow angel
total: 1

Level 8
( ) had a tea party
( ) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up
total: 3

Level 9
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
( ) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
total: 4

Level 10
( ) used a fake/someone else's ID
(x) watched the sun set
( ) felt an earthquake
( ) killed a snake
total: 1

Level 11
(x) been tickled
( ) been robbed/vandalized
( ) robbed someone
(x) been misunderstood
( ) pet a reindeer
total: 2

Level 12
(x) won a contest
(x) been suspended from school
(x) had detention
( ) been in a car/motorcycle accident
total: 2

Level 13
( )had/have braces
(x) ate whole pint of ice cream in onenight
(x) had deja vu
(x) danced in the moonlight
total: 3

Level 14
(x) hated the way you look
(x) witnessed a crime
( ) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
( ) been obsessed with post-it notes
total: 3

Level 15
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
( ) been to the opposite side of the world
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like you were dying
total: 4

Level 16
(x) cried yourself to sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
( ) recently coloured withcrayons/coloredpencils/markers
(x) sang karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins
total: 4

Level 17
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
( )laughed until some kind of beveragecame outof your nose
( ) kissed in the rain
total: 2

Level 18
( ) written a letter to Santa Clause
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe
(x) watched the sun set with someoneyoucare/cared about(firends considered?)
(x) blown bubbles
( ) made a bonfire on the beach
total: 2

Level 19
( ) crashed a party
( ) have traveled more than 5 dayswith a car full of people
(x) gone roller skating/ blading
(x) had a wish come true
( ) Humped a monkey
total: 2

Level 20
(x) worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
( ) screamed "penis" at a footballgame.
( ) swimming with dolphins
total: 1

Level 21
(x) got your tongue stuck to apole/freezer/icecube
(x) kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sex clothes
(x) Sat on a roof top
total: 4

Level 22
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
(x) can do a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 3hours
(x) stayed up all night
total: 4

Level 23
( ) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
( ) climbed a tree
( ) had/been in a tree house
(x) aren't scared to watch scary movies alone
total: 1

Level 25
(x) believe in ghosts
(x)have/had more then 30 pairs of shoes(in alifetime)
( ) gone streaking
(x) been in jail(monopoly one. hahahas)
total: 3

i've done 59 out of 125 crazy things. wahaha

2006-11-22T18:57:00.000+08:00

ULTIMATE BOREDOM!!!
ULTIMATE BOREDOM!!!
ULTIMATE BOREDOM!!!
ULTIMATE BOREDOM!!!
ULTIMATE BOREDOM!!!
ULTIMATE BOREDOM!!!
ULTIMATE BOREDOM!!!
ULTIMATE BOREDOM!!!
ULTIMATE BOREDOM!!!
ULTIMATE BOREDOM!!!
ULTIMATE BOREDOM!!!
ULTIMATE BOREDOM!!!
ULTIMATE BOREDOM!!!
ULTIMATE BOREDOM!!!
ULTIMATE BOREDOM!!!
ULTIMATE BOREDOM!!!
ULTIMATE BOREDOM!!!
as u can c, i'm veri veri bored..grrr.

2006-11-22T16:05:00.000+08:00

its another boring boring day.. haiz. my frenz all not free.. one is out wid bf. another still at sch. another cannot contact coz lost hp(not me, my fren). haiz. i miss sch life! its kind of weird when u study for 4 yrs den suddenly stop. i haf 2 keep fightin e urge 2 read my txtbks. blehx. oh yea. i was havin some weird dreams last nite. REALI weird. but forgot liao. hahas. i onli remember in 1 dream i'm askin my bro 4 my money back. i was so mad at him la. coz he keep sayin no money. *sobx* boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring ......................................................... i will grow much fatter if dis continues lar. energy if not used up will b converted into fats rite? ^+SAVE ME+^
~~~
I NID A JOB!!

2006-11-22T01:04:00.000+08:00

hellOo world!! now i'm goin into e workin world. de veri realistic world. de world tt prefers pretty faces. i'm lookin 4 a job! i nid a job! i wan a job! i nid 2 work 2 earn money 4 to buy a hp for my mother. n 2 pay off e sch fees nxt yr. she got too much on her shoulders liao.
~~~
lols. today(i mean yesterday) went to whitesands 2 try tt sakae job AGAIN. i was late 2 mit amandis. sry amandis. =p but i think sakae wont hire us bahz. den we went to tampines to sign up with kelly services(job agency). heard its very efficient.*hope so* we walked all e way frm whitesands to tampines larh. walk until can DIE. i think i turned another shade darker. eesh. den we couldnt stop walkin bcoz there were lots of red ants. if we stopped, they will crawl up our legs. *sick perverts* lols. we walked e bus 15 route. quite a boring walk. urgh. after signing up wid kelly services, we went to century square to find job. we onli asked m1 though. actually we thought of onli askin for minimum age but we ended up gettin interviewed. quite unexpected but i like it dis way. lols. got 1 guy workin at e m1 store seems quite friendly. he frm my primary sch de. wahaha. small small world. i think he is frm my brother's batch de. i hope i can get e job. so i can ask him whether he noe my korkor. den tt girl talk 2 us de veri pretty lei. hahas. she smile veri cute. i think she got alot of suitors ba. *envy* den after tt we went to tampines mall. we go last level 1st 2 cc n looklook. den we went into mini bits. got 1 girl oso veri cute. she come up 2 us n chatted wid us. we were abit surprised at 1st. coz 1st time got retail assistants so friendly. lols. she say amandis veri cute *nods head* den she was like sayin my hair veri nice coz so straight. but i think not nice lor. i prefer curly. hahas. tts y ppl always say e grass is always greener on e other side. den we chat until we start askin abt her job. den we oso filled up e application form 4 e employment thing. =p
after tt we went arnd tamp mall n ask 1 more shop.cant rmb e name. oops. XD we went ntuc after tt as we wanted 2 buy hair dye. but didn in e end as we wanted 2 save money.
~~~
as 4 e rest of e day, u might not wan 2 noe liao as it is quite boring. lol. anyway, i wan complain abt e bus service. so slow!! bus 39 by e way. waited 4 more den half n hr la. almost fell asleep while waiting. no reason 4 it 2 be late lor. e bus stop is onli e nx one after interchange. confirm no jam de. even if haf, onli will take 5 mins lor.
k la.. dao ci wei zhi.. buaiz!

2006-11-21T12:36:00.000+08:00

wahs.. so boring. first day i don haf 2 wake up early for sch or chiong 4 o lvls.. eesh. life is like, meaningless now. ltr i goin down find job. hope i can find a gd one n get employed.
My secondary school life is officially over!!
(n i quite dislike it)
to my school: i'm so cold, so lost without u by my side.
lols..
i'm plunging down into de abyss of BOREDOM! save me!

2006-11-20T18:29:00.000+08:00

2006-11-20T17:49:00.000+08:00

YO!! O's r OVER!! WOOHOO!!! YAHOO!!! YIPEE!!! HEHEX.. i reli hope i can get my a1 for dnt. i so tiredd.. last nite nv slp again. scared 2 wake up late mahs. after science mcq everyone was like shouting la.. they so happy.. no fair la. amalina graduated 7 hrs b4 me.. haiz.. my life so bad. lols. but in e end still finish my paper la. cant believe its over lor. doesnt even feel like its happened. haiz. i nid a job! real badly!!! argh. i no money liao. den i don wan ask frm my mum. pai seh larh. grrr.. y sakae don employ me? den who they wanna employ? hmph.. my brother oso don wan return my money. he shall DIE.. wahahahaha.. today dnt paper was like so weird. onli at most 40 ppl was doin dnt. den hall so empty. hais.. de invigilator was so scary.. he suddenly use e speaker 2 tell us onli left 15 mins. den i was veri near 2 it. almost jumped outta my seat la. n guess wad? de chief invigilator was previously my sch's pe teacher la. aiyo. no wonder look so familiar. n he looks like mr chua. lol. i think is e hairstyle bahz.. yay!! frm today on i can dye hair liao. but no money. lol. anybody got gd job lobang? hehez.. k la.. i gtg liao. i wan slp. my well deserved rest. :)
~~~
A person who dreams of the past, is a person whose life is over

2006-11-18T19:23:00.000+08:00

i'm a big big girl, in a big big world, its not a not a big big thing if u leave me but i do do feel that i do do will miss u much, miss u much..
hais.. my love life's story. pathetic rite?

2006-11-18T16:38:00.000+08:00

juz came back home.. so tired. lols.. wahs.. went to whitesands to accompany my fren for job interview at sakae. but they don interview during weekends! onli on weekdays. hais.. anyway, i went to interview last monday la. but they haven call. the person say will call by sunday. grrr.. e interviewer veri nice lei. :)
~~~
now watchin anime. so nice! wahaha..
schedule: mon - some nice anime(i dono e name) @1 to 2am
tues - no anime
wed - inuyasha @ 11pm
- get backers @ 11.30pm
thurs - inuyasha @ 11pm
- get backers @ 11.30pm
fri - inuyasha @ 11pm
- get backers @ 11.30pm
sat - full metal alchemist @ 4pm
-some nice anime(i dono e name) @ 4.30pm
sun -some nice anime(i dono e name) @ 1 to 2pm
- some nice anime(i dono e name) @ 4 to 5am
~~~
i'm an anime freak! but i dono e names of some shows i watch. so guilty. =( anyone noe e names? update me. thanx! =p

2006-11-18T13:55:00.000+08:00

yay!! monday's e last day of my o lvls! science mcq n dnt. wad a huge relief. my fren say my pic veri ugly. reali ar? hais..

~~~

somehow i don feel like anyone understands me. i'm a sensitive person even though i don show it. n i hate dis sensitivity of mine. coz i feel tt sensitivity is a sign of weakness. i hate bein weak. n guess wad? my mom has nvr seen me cry ever since i turned 5. i kept my tears hidden frm her bcoz i noe she will keep askin. i don like to explain stuff. i will say things once. n if no1 hears me, i get irritated. ppl say "treat others as how u wan others to treat u". dis NVR happens. i listen to my frenz but they juz won listen to me. i treat "certain" ppl badly but they juz nvr get it n stick to me like a leech. grr. i don like to tell ppl off. but i haf a veri short temper. i told my frenz dis but it seems tt they forget abt it. maybe i should learn to speak out n warn my frenz b4 my temper gets reli bad. sometimes i tell my frenz to leave me alone to cool off. but they will stick to me n keep askin "wads wrong" it gets veri irritating u noe? n i tell them a few more times to leave me alone to cool off. den i get reali mad n scold them. n they say i haf attitude problem. wadz dis? i would like to tell them "i told u so" but they confirm guarantee plus chop will say more thing de. argh. maybe dis is wad a blog is 4. to vent my frustrations n let ppl understand me better.

~~~

tts it. feelin better. =) thanx blog.. hehe

2006-11-17T17:16:00.000+08:00

~before my paper. was so anticipating n excited.~

~ me after e paper. i was so tired. coz nvr slp la.~

over!!!

2006-11-17T12:58:00.000+08:00

oh man! its over! poa is no more! outta my life! WOOHOO!!!! WAHAHAHAHA!!!! e paper so easy la. tt even i can do. wahahas!!! *grins frm ear to ear*
~~~
now for my dnt n science mcq.... panic panic.. anxiety builds up.. stress n tension adds up.. DIE!
i'm expectin an a1 for dnt larh.. n my science.. now its onli up to my mcq to pull up my grades.. *prays veri hard* muz pray for me too ok? :) hahas..
~~~
wahs. come to sch for a 1 hr paper. waste my transport. my ez-link no money liao lei. haiz. anyway, now i'm still aimless. i dono where to go after my o's. anybody got any tips? i reali hope my results arent reali bad lor. i don wan to disappoint my mum. she pimned all her hopes n me to do well. it reali breaks my heart to c her sad. haiz.
^+ GOD HELP ME+^
hais..

...

2006-11-17T06:59:00.000+08:00

argh.. i cant slp. tossed n turned for e past hr. yes. i stayed up until 6 am to study for my poa mcq. stressed out man. i nid a gd grade. if not my l1r4 is gone case liao. sobx sobx. i'm like so darn worried! hais..
~~~
actually, e main reason i can't slp is bcoz my mind is in a huge, tangled mess. i keep thinkin abt stuff. "he" keeps popping up in my mind. i'm like devising ways to pretend i don't noe "him" when i mit "him" again. eesh. i hate it when my "he" pops up in my mind. old memories reappear n my mending heart gets torn up again. n i'm thinkin, maybe, i will die as an old, lonely woman. i feel so unwanted u noe? n maybe i'm wrong to say dis but, i think god has forsaken me. dis past few wks, unlucky events haf been happenin to me larh. grr.. anyway, i'm sure most of u out there noes wad itx like to see ur frenz happily in love, in money, family, everythin. n u think to urself, why isnt tt me? n u feel so terrible. itx easy to tell someone tt there is someone out there who is worse off, but hard to believe, when u or tt someone is in a super depressed mood alredy. urm.. i'm goin veri off track alredy. lols.
~~~
anyway, wish me best of luck for my poa paper ltr. :) i need it alot. thanx. hee..

hmph

2006-11-16T19:05:00.000+08:00

okay! tmrw is my poa mcq. i will be aimin 4 full marks. possible lei. don gimme tt look. lols.
~~~
today, is soo booringg! argh. nv go out. i miss the shops, food, fun. but nvm. after my papers, i can play all i wan. weee!!
~~~
abt my dnt, i almost dropped it dis yr. even my teacher tellin me to drop lei. lucky i nv drop. pulled through wif an a1 4 prelims. MY ONLI A1!! miracle!! hahas. tt fish is supposed to help children learn colors. a SUPER simple gadget. but it looks nice though. i completed it in a mth. but, i dropped it. den break into 2. sobxsobx. den took another wk to complete larh. waste time. den my folio was done within a wk. lols. and it was supposed to be a whole yr thing. it kept me up for a few days larh. n i did it during prelims!! tts e main reason y i did so badly. wahaha~

my first post

2006-11-16T03:19:00.000+08:00

dis is my first post in dis blog. i dono if i can maintain it though. but i'll try. :) anyone been to tampines interchange's kfc or mcdonalds on the 8th of november? i lost my plaque. its in a red box. sort of red actually. its got a ngee ann sec logo on it. wif my name, cheow fern. i'm desperately looking for it. its reali important to me. haiz. i reali hope someone can return it to me.
~~~
anyways, today's (i mean yesterday's) poa paper sucked. totally. i didn study. man. die liao. almost in tears when i realised,2 my frustration, i've left out a question! due 2 my blurness, carelessness n absentmindedness. TT WAS A GIVEAWAY MARK! sobx.. if u r takin o lvls in e near or distant future, plz study. don slp in class. take it tt i'm beggin u. i alredy regret not studyin. n i don wan anyone 2 go through e pain i'm goin through now. i cannot go 2 e course i wan la. juz bcoz i nv take bio. haiz. if i haf studied during sec 2, i can go there liao. n here i m , aimless, lost, hopeless.
~~~
moi fish.
name: fish
lols. my dnt project. i onli like e colors though.
tell ya bout it another time. i gotta slp! hahas